The maniacal, semi-lucid ramblings of a group of people who could probably be doing something more constructive with their time...but don't.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Patrons that Have Celebrity Names

I thought I'd make a list so we don't forget them.........EVER.

1. Nancy O'Dell (this is my all time fav)
2. Craig Nelson (minus the middle initial "T"...he kicked ass in Poltergeist)
3. John Wayne (ok, he only uses the first floor but this is still a good one)
4. R.Sparks (Nicholas Sparks' lesser-known homeless brother suffering from consumption)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Show me....stupidity!

I found this on someone's blog and thought it was funny...
vstan

I've always been fascinated by groups of five people who try to guess what 100 randomly selected people have said for a chance to win $10,000, which they'll split between themselves before splitting it again with the government. Which will leave each of them with about $32.87 for their troubles.

I've also been fascinated by how one of those five people will crack under the pressure and cost everyone else on their team a chance to walk away with $32.87.

As a result, I've polled 100 people to find the best "worst" answers ever given on Family Feud. The top 27 answers are on the board.

Question: Name a former President that most people would say is honest.
#1 Answer: Lincoln
Worst Answers: Nixon

Question: Besides San Francisco, name a city that begins with the word San.
#1 Answer: San Diego
Worst Answer: Seattle

Question: Name a slang term used for important people.
#1 Answer: V.I.P.
Worst Answer: Buddy

Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out.
#1 Answer: Photos
Worst Answer: Corn

Question: Name something that might annoy a gardener.
#1 Answer: Bugs
Worst Answer: Not getting paid on time

Question: Name a reason a man might send his wife flowers.
#1 Answer: Anniversary
Worst Answer: Happy divorce

Question: Name a term used in football.
#1 Answer: Touchdown
Worst Answer: Fastbreak

Question: Name a special request people ask for when making a dinner reservation.
#1 Answer: Non-smoking
Worst Answer: A menu

Question: Name someone you wouldn't want to get a phone call from.
#1 Answer: The police
Worst Answer: Your son

Question: Name a classical music composer everyone knows.
#1 Answer: Mozart
Worst Answer: Julio Inglesias

Question: Tell me something specific you should drink a lot of when you're sick.
#1 Answer: Water
Worst Answer: Alcohol

Question: Name something you'd hate to find at the end of your nose.
#1 Answer: Pimple
Worst Answers: Lint

Question: Name the worst kind of shoe to run a marathon in.
#1 Answer: High heels
Worst Answer: Scuba flippers
Louie Anderson's Response: If it's up there... I'll be suprised.

Question: Name something a person wouldn't want living in their house.
#1 Answer: Relatives
Worst Answer: Mold

Question: Name a musician who goes by one name.
#1 Answer: Madonna
Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre
Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.

Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars.
#1 Answer: House
Worst Answer: Pleasure equipment
Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.

Question: Name something you think would be difficult about being a waiter.
#1 Answer: Taking orders
Worst Answer: Falling down

Question: Name something a woman would find in her boyfriend's apartment that would make her think he was cheating.
#1 Answer: Bra
Worst Answer: Used condom

Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time.
#1 Answer: Video games
Worst Answer: Masturbate
Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.

Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US.
#1 Answer: Peso
Worst Answer: Ampere

Question: Name a reason why a woman might not want to kiss her boyfriend.
#1 Answer: Bad breath
Worst Answers: She doesn't love him that much

Question: Name something you do in front of your husband that you probably never did when you were dating.
#1 Answer: Undress
Worst Answer: Make out
Louie Anderson's Response: With somebody else?

Question: Name a complaint you might have about the pizza that was just delivered.
#1 Answer: It's cold
Worst Answers: It went to the wrong address
Louie Anderson's Response: And you just happened to be there.

Question: Name an animal many people are scared of.
#1 Answer: Snake
Worst Answer: Boar
Louie Anderson's Response: It's terrifying.

Question: Name something you need to play Scrabble.
#1 Answer: Letters
Worst Answer: Dice
Louie Anderson's Response: Where did you learn to play Scrabble?

Question: Name the age when a man might start to lose a lot of hair.
#1 Answer: 30
Worst Answer: 14

Question: Name the best month to schedule a wedding.
#1 Answer: June
Worst Answer: Summer

grammaticum

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Put it on yo Christmas list.


Gold Pill makes your poop glitter for $425

If you've got so much money that you're just looking for new ways to waste it, Tobias Wong and Ju$t Another Rich Kid created the Gold Pill for you. It's a pill dipped in gold and filled with 24-karat gold leaf. You're supposed to eat it "to increase your self-worth." That would be funny if it didn't cost $425 for the joke. Supposedly an added benefit is that it will make your poop sparkle, but no one seems to have proven that part yet (and if you do, please don't send us the pictures). This is either genius social commentary or a brilliant way to bilk rich people out of their money. If Wong's name sounds familiar, it's probably because he also created the $2,000 ccPhone.

http://dvice.com/archives/2007/12/gold_pill_makes.php

Monday, December 10, 2007

Kenny vs. Spenny

This cracked my shit up. These guys have a show on comedy central and they have weird contests, such as, who can blow the biggest fart...

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

HOW WE GO OUT VERSION 2 (VERSION 2?!?!?!)



Is this how you girls "GO OUT"?

Wick wicky wicky wack

R

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Weed



I am so happy we are doing the weed. It allows me to find awesome books like this one. Why isn't she wearing pants?! That's how they do dictation! I take dictation with my pants off! It's the only way!
Vstan